Pony-ing Up

I have a ponytail.  It’s not a really long pony but it’s a ponytail proper, even my mom would have said so.  A proper ponytail means that I can put a scarf in it like a ribbon and let it go and people can still see the ponytail.  It means I have an option when my hair is dirty and I don’t dare wash it in places like Shenzhen, China.  I know I have to wait another day or two when I get back to Hong Kong and much better water quality.

Just weeks ago, I was in Europe, in a hurry and pulled my hair into a ponytail one day.  I got back to the hotel late that night and standing in front of the mirror, it hit me: you have a ponytail.  Wow.

This is huge for us cancer survivors.  When you lose your hair, you despair.  It’s really traumatic and I don’t sugar coat that.  I even tell cancer survivors, women starting chemo, the hair loss is the hardest.  It’s the toughest part mentally.  We all agree, losing our hair was the worst of it.  Getting it back is a long and drawn out process.  Unless you wear your hair pixie short, it’s going to take TIME to get back to the length you once had, upwards of three or more years for really long locks.  I didn’t do the math for the longest time but now I know that I’ve got another year or so before my hair is back to it’s ‘normal’ length.  That will put me at three years five months post-chemo. A very long time.

Meanwhile, I have a ponytail. 

Every single day I struggle with fatigue or pain or the myriad of symptoms that I suffer from post-chemo but it’s not as bad as it once was and all because I have a ponytail.

Take that cancer.